I live in the Boston area and have been struggling with this issue for decades.
We roads here are generally plowed very well, and salted to death to the point where most of your winter driving is just on regular cold dry or wet roads.
Then every once in a blue moon we get several feet dropped on us. You could just stay home when this happens, but where is the fun in that?
My first few winters here after moving from sweden, I did the swedish thing and put aggressive Hakkapelittas on my car for the winter, but over the years I feel like I have learned that they weren’t worth it. The added sqiuirrelyness and numbness on dry roads (most winter driving) just weren’t worth the amazing snow/ice traction those few days you really need it.
Over time I have settled for the more mild winter “Alpine” style continental winter tires from Continental and Michelin.
First I used the Continental ContiWinterContact TS810.
When Continental discontinued those several years back, I went with Michelin Pilot Alpin PA3’s. Not sure if those are still sold.
Two winters ago all of this changed.
Continental historically used to sell mild “Alpine” winter tires in continental Europe, more aggressive nordic winter tires in Scandinavia and Russia. In the U.S. they sold both for a while, and (as noted above) they discontinued their Alpine lineup in the U.S. (they continued to sell newer versions in Europe) back in like 2011 or 2012 or so.
Their Alpine tires were the ContiWinterContact TSxxx lines. Their Nordic lineup were the Continental VikingContact
VikingContact 1 through VikingContact 6 were awesome in the snow and ice, but had pretty rough harsh rides, with similar negatives as the old Hakkapelitta’s. The new (since 2019?) VikingContact 7’s are a bloody miracle.
They are almost as well mannered on dry winter roads as the alpine ContiWinterContacts were, but perform as well as, or better in the slippery stuff as the older VikingContact 6’s.
I put VikingContact 7’s on both my S90 and my old V70 two winters ago, and I have no regrets as all. They are bloody fantastic.
I just don’t know if they come in normal SUV tire sizes, but if they do, I highly recommend them.