We all want to share what we love with the people we love. But not everyone is a car enthusiast or has the same level of passion for them you do—and that may be true for your significant other. If that’s the case, what do you do? The observations and tips I’ve put together below may not convert the special person in your life into a diehard gearhead, but they should give you a better understanding of the situation and how to connect over something that’s meaningful to you.
It’s Not Really About Cars
When your spouse/significant other isn’t as excited by the sight of a big-block Corvette as you are, or visibly loses interest when you go on and on about the new Mustang, you’re probably not disappointed by his/her lack of enthusiasm for the car itself. You feel let down because your special person is not into something that’s a big part of you. Whether you’ve just started seeing them or this has been an issue for a while, it helps to explain to him/her just what cars mean to you and how they’ve been such an important part of your life. Tell memorable stories from your childhood or your car-related dreams, such as that road trip up the Pacific Coast Highway you want to go on with him/her. Once again, the cars are secondary; this allows you to connect in a much more fundamental way and help him/her understand you better.
Speak Their Language
One of the great things about being able to relate cars to anything is that you can do the exact opposite. Is your mate a big fan of a certain actor or actress? You can ask, “Hey, did you see the new [Insert European Hypercar Here] that [Insert Celebrity’s Name Here] just bought?” That not only shows your mate that you pay attention to the people who interest her, but it also starts a conversation that both of you can get into. If the love of your life is into a certain band, that group’s newest music video may have a cool vehicle in it, so pull that up and watch it with her. She may notice the vehicle right away without you even mentioning it. All you have to do at that point is just let the conversation flow from there.
Get Them Around Cars
There’s give and take to any good relationship, so your spouse/significant other will go to at least a few car shows with you. When (s)he does, not only will your pure happiness and passion be evident, but also (s)he’ll also prove to you that everyone—no matter what they’re into—has some degree of enthusiasm for automobiles. Trust me. I learned that when I took my wife to a Barrett-Jackson auction. The more we walked around and saw the sights in WestWorld of Scottsdale, the more vehicles she told me she liked. Before that moment, I never knew she was into the first-generation Ford Bronco builds from Maxlider Brothers Customs or Jeff Hayes’ Corvette restomods. She also had plenty to say about the vivid exterior colors and flamboyant designs on display at the Martin Auto Museum here in Phoenix.
Be Realistic
No matter how much you bare your soul or find common ground with your spouse/significant other, there are limits to how much car talk (s)he can take in a certain amount of time, especially if it’s super technical. I know that from experience. I also know that it works the other way: there’s a certain amount of “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives” or “Summer House” I can handle before I get off the couch and find something (anything!) better to do.
Their Real Love
Don’t be surprised when your love starts speaking your language—just be grateful. (S)he may do that through a Hot Wheels car, by suggesting you two go see a car-related movie, or by picking a route to drive through a romantic destination. (S)he may still not love cars, but when (s)he makes gestures like that, you know that (s)he loves you.