Tesla is pretty desperate to find buyers for its flopping Cybertruck, but I doubt Elon Musk’s company had this news on its bingo card: the U.S. Air Force is looking for two Cybertrucks to shoot, and they ain’t talking about photos. According to government contracting documents posted online yesterday, the Air Force is looking “for Towable Target Vehicles to be used as targets for live missile fire testing.”
The Air Force is looking for several other vehicle types for this testing, but the Cybertruck is the only specific make and model that’s requested. Its justification for specifically soliciting Cybertrucks is not because of their nauseating optics, but due to the truck’s “aggressively angular and futuristic design paired with its unpainted stainless steel exoskeleton,” and Tesla’s “bulletproof” marketing claims. The Air Force is performing these tests as it believes it’s likely that enemies may transition to using Cybertrucks because “they have been found not to receive the normal extent of damage expected upon major impact.” It also says extensive internet searches have found the Cybertruck’s 48-volt electrical architecture is more advanced than all rivals.
The Cybertrucks need to be reasonably intact
In order to be viable for the target vehicle training flight test events, the Cybertrucks don’t need to be operational, but they need to have all glass and mirrors intact, and all wheels need to roll with usable tires. The Cybertrucks’ 1,600-pound batteries must be removed, and all of their fluids must to be drained to meet the Air Force’s needs.
It shouldn’t be too hard to find non-operational Cybertrucks without major damage, since Cybertrucks have proven to be surprisingly fragile in the real world. Cybertrucks have bricked themselves after obstacles like car washes, and developed frame cracks and snapped suspension mounts after hitting potholes.
Beyond the two Tesla Cybertrucks, the Air Force is also looking for six black sedans, six white sedans, six blue or green sedans, five SUVs, five trucks, and perhaps weirdest of all, three kei trucks which the government refers to as “Bongos” for similar testing. What did kei trucks ever do to deserve such a fate, and why couldn’t all 33 target practice vehicles be Cybertrucks?