by Joe Mindak, Co-Founder, Nolodex
For decades, business networking has followed a familiar mantra: Givers Gain. The principle suggests that generosity breeds good karma. And particularly in the form of referrals, those who give will eventually be reciprocated.
Well, here’s the reality. After 25 years in a wide range of networking groups, I found myself consistently at the top of the “referrals given” list. Month after month, my contributions were recognized with small awards, usually in the form of a certificate in a modest frame. These tokens were appreciated, but they highlighted a deeper imbalance: while I was consistently giving, I wasn’t consistently receiving.
This led me to reconsider the dynamic. Not out of frustration, but curiosity. What if the issue wasn’t in the spirit of generosity, but in the structure we’d built around it?
The Behavior Behind the Mantra
When people stop giving in networking groups, it’s not because they no longer believe in helping others. It’s because the act of giving feels valueless and one-sided. Let’s say Chris refers four strong leads to Susie. She closes two deals, celebrates publicly, and thanks Chris in front of the group. But Chris receives no referrals in return, no tangible reward for his effort. Over time, he stops referring. Eventually, he leaves the group.
I’ve personally seen this play out time after time in various groups. Now multiply this by dozens of members over the course of a year. The effect? Fewer referrals, waning engagement, high turnover and ultimately, declining group value.
This isn’t about greed or entitlement. It’s about aligning human behavior with the incentives that sustain long-term engagement. Especially in today’s society, people are distracted and need motivation to go above and beyond. The simple fact is people are more willing to open their networks when it feels aligned. And given the side-hustle, gig-economy we current live in, that alignment is in financial rewards.
A Shift Toward Shared Success
Enter a new model: Givers Get Paid.
Instead of hoping for reciprocity, members are empowered with a simple system. If someone in your network closes a deal thanks to your introduction, you get a referral fee. It’s a concept rooted in performance marketing: pay when a result is achieved.
Take the earlier example. If Susie’s deals are worth $50,000 and agrees on a 10% referral fee, Chris receives a referral fee once the deal is closed.
Chris may not have received a referral in return, but he earned meaningful income and is now even more motivated to refer again. The loop strengthens, not weakens. The community retains its top contributors and grows stronger.
Why This Model Works
The data supports this approach:
Given these numbers, the question becomes clear: Why are referrals still treated as a goodwill gesture when they’re clearly a critical driver of revenue?
This doesn’t mean every relationship needs to be transactional. But creating optional, transparent systems for shared value changes the behavior in a positive way. It encourages more introductions, deeper engagement, and ultimately more growth for everyone involved.
Technology Makes It Possible
Until recently, managing referral incentives in communities was cumbersome. But today, there are platforms that are making this system seamless. For example, Nolodex not only tracks introductions and outcomes, but facilitates referral payments between members and creates a new revenue stream for the community.
It brings structure to what many of us have been doing informally for years. Whether you’re a member of a coworking space, alumni association, chamber of commerce, or mastermind group, platforms like this offer a way to turn goodwill into real, sustainable growth.
And people do behave differently when an incentive is on the table. That slight hesitation, “Should I introduce them?” starts to disappear. Because now, the value exchange is balanced.
Embracing the Evolution
I once shared this idea with a well-known connector on LinkedIn. His reply: “That’s not the way I network.” So, what was my response? “Not yet.”
All innovation feels unfamiliar at first. We used to hail taxis, until someone built an app that made it easier, safer, and more efficient. Now, ridesharing is second nature.
The same is true for networking. The future doesn’t eliminate generosity; it amplifies it with accountability and fairness. Communities that adopt this model will see more referrals, stronger engagement, and higher retention because members feel seen, valued, and rewarded.
So, the next time someone tells you Givers Gain, smile and explain to them, now Givers Get Paid. Because this model just might build something better for everyone.
With over 25 years of experience growing businesses across multiple industries – from marketing and publishing to events, music, and e-commerce – Joe Mindak has consistently built ventures rooted in authentic connection and shared purpose. Nolodex is his seventh company that he has built from scratch.