While many corporate managers attempt to inject levity into dull, monotonous meetings through formulaic icebreakers, one Ford executive decided it would be funny to record the verbal gaffes made by his colleagues. Sales executive Mike O’Brien retired from Ford in February after 32 years, but he also spent the last decade cataloging every mixed metaphor spoken in meetings. O’Brien’s “Board Words” completely filled five whiteboards and got a fifth of the way through a sixth.
The phrases that got Sharpied into immorality range from hilarious to frustratingly embarrassing. O’Brien shared a few samples with the Wall Street Journal, including, “He’s going to be so happy he’ll be like a canary in a coal mine!” Canaries didn’t work in coal mines because they enjoyed it. They were living carbon monoxide detectors that would die before the miners as a warning if the levels got too high.
Another flawed gem on the board is “too many cooks in the soup.” There should be zero cooks in the soup. I know things are looking bleak right now because of the tariffs, but society hasn’t collapsed yet. There shouldn’t be any cannibals working at Ford. The correct phrase is “too many cooks spoil the broth” (or “too many cooks in the kitchen”) because too much corporate meddling can lead to a situation where the company decides to call an electric crossover a Mustang.
No one was safe from getting Sharpied on the whiteboard
O’Brien took the whiteboards home with him when the COVID-19 pandemic struck in 2020, but all 2,229 linguistic breaches were also recorded on a spreadsheet. He shared this fabled spreadsheet with thousands of his co-workers as an attachment in his retirement announcement email. While O’Brien is no longer a jovial scourge in Ford meetings, he did pass the baton to someone else. However, we don’t know who this person is. O’Brien told NPR:
“Yes, I will not reveal the name in order to protect his identity, but I did pass the torch to two of my most enthusiastic supporters and contributors and people who had been there very close to the beginning. They are continuing to not only record them, but also they’re texting me some of the better ones just to keep me laughing during my retirement.”
No one was safe from getting quoted on the board. CEO Jim Farley got Sharpied in twice. O’Brien himself retired while sitting third all-time with 110 mentions, all prompted by his colleagues. He noted that Mike Murphy, a veteran marketing manager, tops the charts with 184 mentions. Murphy was the Ford employee who uttered the happy canary in a coal mine quote.