by Lisa Hansen
Are you confident? Do you know what it means to be confident? Or better yet, do you know how to develop your confidence?
Yes, contrary to popular belief that some women are born with it, or naturally have more confidence than others, confidence is a skill that can be developed, practiced, and strengthened and it’s so much easier than you think.
No, it doesn’t start with “fake it till you make it.” Confidence is based on knowing and trusting. How well do you trust a stranger with your child, phone, and business? You don’t trust that stranger at all because you don’t know them. You have no confidence in them. If you took the time and effort to get to know them your answer might change. As your knowledge and trust in this stranger grew so would your confidence that they could look after your most important things.
Now, be honest, how well do you know yourself? Just like the stranger in any area you lack knowledge and trust in yourself, you are lacking confidence too.
Don’t stress though, just like the stranger you can develop confidence in yourself by learning more about yourself and developing trust in yourself to make decisions. These are not big, costly adventures like moving to Bali to learn about yourself, they are daily questions that you intentionally answer. For example, when you order a pizza and they ask what toppings you want, what do you do? If you don’t immediately know what you want you may look around at the menu, at your friend’s order, or at your spouse’s preferences and try one of theirs. There is some doubt, and some hesitancy because you are unsure if you will like it. You have made your decision based on someone else’s opinion, based on comparison.
On the contrary, let’s say you know exactly what pizza toppings you like because you have tried them previously and you order your bacon, pepperoni, pineapple, and jalapeño pizza. You know that you like it and trust that those are the toppings you want to eat (don’t knock it till you have tried it- it’s delicious!). Because you already KNOW and TRUST that you will like this combination of salty and sweet and spicy, you order with confidence and ease. You don’t need to stress over the menu or ask what your friend got, you know what you want, and it is a quick decision.
Pizza may sound like a silly example, but it is a great illustrator that you have so many options in life. When you are unsure, untrusting, and unconfident you will naturally start to look around and compare. However, when you have trust based on knowledge and previous experience you have developed confidence in yourself and your ability to make the right decisions for you.
As you get to know yourself and develop trust and confidence in yourself, two highly sought after results will happen.
First, your need and pull to compare yourself to others with fade. You will confidently choose what’s right for you, your goals, your family, and your business without needing to see what others are doing first. You are no longer trying to fit in or gain approval. You know what is best for you.
Second, life and decisions feel easier when you are confident. Your daily decisions are based on your knowledge and trust in yourself. Many decisions that required analysis are now yes/no. Questions that previously would have stumped you feel obvious without the lingering doubt. Quick, confident decisions become your norm.
Bottom line, stop faking it till you make it (that never worked), stop comparing, and stop following the trends, and start getting to really know you. Learn your favorite drink, and your favorite pizza topping, and try on those shoes you have been eyeing and decide for yourself if you like them. Invest in yourself more than you compare to others and you will feel a shift. You will feel a deep knowing, an empowering sense of self-trust, and a powerful emergence of newly developed confidence in yourself and your ability to make the right decisions for you!
Lisa Hansen is a Success & Confidence Coach and Founder of Thriving Women’s Conference, a premier goal-driven growth and success event. With top-tier speakers committed to attendees’ development and a supportive network of powerful women, TWC 2024 is the ultimate destination for those seeking meaningful connections and transformative experiences.
Lisa began her professional career as a mechanical engineer at Boeing before graduating at the top of her class from the Culinary Institute of America and founding Rose River Bakery. Despite early entrepreneurial success, Lisa felt a sense of unfulfilled frustration, prompting a journey of self-discovery. Through this journey, she found clarity and confidence by shifting focus from merely meeting goals to understanding and meeting personal needs.
Today, Lisa shares these insights through public speaking and one-on-one coaching, focusing on developing genuine confidence, understanding the true drivers of thoughts and actions, and thriving by embracing one’s authentic self. To learn more, visit https://thelisahansen.com/