1990 Chrysler Imperial: Favorite Car Ads

If I were to promote myself in a manner consistent with the 1990 Chrysler print ad shared here, the text of that effort might read something like this:

Tom Appel…

Runs the mile in less time than Stephen Hawking!
Has less nose hair than Harrison Ford! (probably)
Is a better Scrabble Go! player than Mother Teresa!
Generally less annoying than Fran Drescher!

There are actually two big problems here. One issue is that Chrysler chose to resurrect the storied model name “Imperial” for a truly underserving vehicle, more on that in a moment…

But the second, and arguably worse offense is that the marketing folks behind this sales pitch chose to compare this wholly unworthy Chrysler effort to four really good vehicles, and for relatively stupid reasons.

Let’s review:

Porsche 928

Porsche’s water-cooled and V8-power grand-touring car was considered a design triumph when it was revealed at the Geneva Auto show in 1977. In the ad seen here, Chrysler gloats that the Imperial features anti-lock brakes (ABS) just like the 928. And while this is true, the Imperial does boast legit 4-channel ABS, the car is also saddle with dated—and inexcusable on a brand flagship—rear drum brakes. The list of other ways that the Imperial was inferior to the Porsche is simply too long to share here.

Acura Legend

One of the most media-awarded vehicles of its era, the Acura Legend was masterpiece of performance-oriented engineering and top-notch craftsmanship. The car boasted a powerful, twin-cam V6 engine, unique model-specific architecture, and plenty of passenger space. The Imperial, however, was derived from the same architecture as the 1981 Plymouth Reliant. Really. Here Chrysler makes it known that, like the Legend, the Imperial is equipped with a passenger-side airbag. And while that’s true, and while that was impressive in 1990, occupants would likely have been safer in the better-engineered Acura. To make things especially galling, the Acura, at $27,350, listed for just $1695 more than the Imperial.

Rolls-Royce Silver Spur

So, yes, the Imperial and the Rolls-Royce Silver Spur were both equipped with a “load-leveling” rear suspension, but the Chrysler setup compensated only for the weight of rear-seat passengers and items in the trunks. The Rolls arrangement was part of a more sophisticated system dubbed Automatic Ride Control. Additionally, the Imperial was saddled with a low-price beam axle and MacPherson struts rear suspension.

The Rolls, on the other hand, featured a completely independent rear setup including an adjustable rear air suspension used under license from Citroën. There’s more to whine about here, but you get the point. And finally…

Jaguar XJ6

One of the best-looking and best-riding sedans ever to be exported from England, the Jaguar XJ6 isn’t just a great luxury “saloon,” it’s a flat-out automotive legend, reliability issues notwithstanding.

Here Chrysler claims that the Imperial’s 4-speed automatic transmission was “more advanced” than that found in the Jag. We’re going to suggest otherwise. While the Jaguar automatic was sourced from German supplier ZF Friedrichshafen AG, legendary maker of transmissions for luxury and high-performance vehicles, Chrysler’s trans was home grown, and extremely trouble prone. Between 1989 and 1991, the Chrysler A604 “Ultradrive” was subject to 28 individual technical service bulletins (TSBs), frustrating owners and dealers alike.

Fun fact: Supplier ZF would go on to build transmissions for Stellantis (now Chrysler’s parent company). The ZF units can be found in the maker’s Ram 1500 pickup trucks.

…

As noted above, the Imperial shared its basic architecture with the Chrysler Corporation’s K-Cars. New for 1981, the first Ks, the Dodge Aries and Plymouth Reliant, were at best functional, affordable cars, and certainly not the basis for luxury vehicle, and certainly not one name Imperial, a model name once applied to cars that competed wheel-to-wheel with vehicles from Cadillac and Lincoln.

The 1990 Imperial was little more than a gussied up New Yorker, itself but a shadow of earlier models of the same name. Alas, the public was not fooled by the cheap makeover or this misleading ad; over the four years this generation of Imperial was retailed, just over 41,000 found buyers. This despite the Acura Legend-like airbag and Rolls-Royce suspension.

Nutshell, the 1990 Chrysler Imperial was disappointing from the get go, and this extremely misleading ad just makes matters so much worse. Oh, and did I mention that I have more Devo records than Dr. Jonas Salk?

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